Sad Liberty


I got this off of NRO, and the original cite was "from a reader", so I can't properly attribute it, but it made me chuckle:

Tiger Tiger turning right
In the driveway late at night
Your immortal hand and eye
Couldn't make the car comply?
Of whose waiting shapely thighs
Did you dream with bolted eyes
Instigating you to crash
Into the stately water ash?

Was it worth a rendezvous
With some star-struck ingenue
Just to verify you could
Withstand a sliced Norwegian wood?
Tiger Tiger turning right
In the driveway late at night
What covert obsession made
You climb into the Escalade?
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The Neverending Story

I just watched the movie. I should have been in bed 2 hours ago, but I can't walk away from this movie. I can't wait to share this movie with my 5 year old. Snuggling in bed with Jimmy and popcorn, watching this movie? Heaven. Sheer, unadulterated heaven on earth. I'm a lucky man.
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    happy and tired

So tired

Long day today. LOOONG day. I was on the phone at 10, calling clients, I did that until 2, with a break for a lunch of soooper soup™, when I had to leave to go call on clients way, waaaay down in Southern Md., more than 100 miles away. I drove down, called on 3 clients, sold all 3 of them, earning some generous and much needed commissions, then I had to drive home. I finished with my last client at 10:15 and headed the 2 + hours home. I hadn't eaten since lunch, and as I passed an Outback I figured that I had earned it and stopped and had a steak dinner. It was good, but it put me even later getting home. Rolling into my neighborhood at a little past one, I stopped to have a beer at the pub and decompress. Now I'm home and it's time for bed. I'm debating between my nice warm bed with my nice warm wife and the roll out bed downstairs. On the surface of it this would seem like an easy decision, but my nice warm wife loves me a whole lot. When we sleep this comes out in her desire to snuggle up against me, a good thing. Except.....all through the night her subconscious keeps telling her to snuggle up against wonderful me, and she does. Brilliant, right? Well, it is, and I love it, but each time she snuggles closer, it at least half wakes me up and it always pushes me further over. Most mornings I wake up warm, supremely loved, and sleeping on 6 inches of bed. Tonight I think I'm going to opt for the surprisingly comfortable roll out bed and an uninterrupted night's sleep. I'll snuggle my warm wife tomorrow.
  • Current Mood
    tired tired
Mona lisa

That was fun

So I went up to the bar tonight to have a beer. I get out of my car, and there is a guy sitting on the picnic table outside, who says to me "Hey, man, I wanna ask you a question". He goes on to say "I know you've heard this before, I have, we all have, but really, I need some help". He goes on to tell me that his car ran out of gas (his car is sitting right there), he's not looking for a handout, but he needs a couple of bucks, yadda, yadda, yadda. Seems like a nice guy. Sincere. I tell him that I can't help him, sorry, I don't have any cash, but I wish I could, and I did wish that. It's not likely, but everyone runs out of gas sometimes, and I like to help when I can. He turns to the next guy and starts in again.

I decide to actually help. I get back into my car, go home, duck into my shed and come back. I pull up next to his car and he's in it and the car is running. Hmmmm, I think. I get out of my car and he sees me and gets out of his car. I tell him. "Hey man, I try to help everyone I can, but your car is running. I thought you were out of gas." He tries to play it off, " I went and got a dollar's worth of gas". I look at him and say, "Come on man, I've only been gone 3 minutes (there is no gas station within 3 minutes of our location)." I tell him "I try to help people whenever I can. That's how I live my life. I told you I don't have any cash, and I don't, but I do have a lawnmower." He looks at me, not understanding, and I open the back door of my car and pull out a gas can. "I brought you some gas".

Like a bolt from the blue, he gets it, and to his credit he seems honestly grateful that I went through the trouble, but the elephant in the room is now standing naked before us and he doesn't try to deny it. "You don't need any gas, do you?" I ask. "No" he says. I tell him "Life is short and pain is long and we're all put on this earth to help each other, that's why I went and got some gas, you understand?" He says yes, and still seems honestly amazed that I went through the trouble of bringing him gas. "Next time someone needs help, thing about this" I say, "Have a great day". He grins and says "You too, my man" and drives off. I went into the bar and had a beer.

Game, set, match, me. I love killing them with kindness.
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Jimmy and Me

Today, I am a man

It's a tradition in Jewish households. When your child reaches the age of 13, he or she has his or her bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah. During that ceremony, traditionally the youth declares "Today, I am a man"*. It's a recognition of the youth transitioning to adolescence and then to adulthood. I really like the idea (There's a lot of things I like about Jewish tradition), but the core concept is one familiar to parents of all beliefs (one that we tend to fight kicking and screaming, creating a ceremony to recognize that is brilliant IMO): Our kids grow up. The bar or bat mitzvah is simply a ceremony acknowledging that fact.

Well, tomorrow, my son will start school. My wife and I had to fight to get him into school, we were rudely rebuffed from putting him in public school, and by the time that happened, it was very much too late to enroll him in the private school next door. We went on the waiting list, and yesterday, I got a call informing me that a spot was open at Immaculate Heart of Mary. We jumped on it.

So, tomorrow Jimmy will get to go to school. Financially, it will be a bit of a burden, but we can handle it. I'm excited. Corrine's excited. Jimmy is very excited. I'm a little pissed (understatement, read: a lot) that the taxes I pay for public schooling will be wasted, but the most important thing is that Jimmy is going to be starting his education amongst a group of kids his age, in a setting that encourages and nurtures his gifts.

Which brings me back to how I started this entry. Bar mitzvah's recognize the milestone of a kid becoming an adolescent. Tomorrow my baby steps out into the wider world. I love that. I embrace that. I worked hard for it to happen. But......

Jimmy has entered into the new phase of his life where he's no longer my little boy, he's Jimmy, determinedly forging his own path through life. That's a good thing. It's a wonderful thing. I want it to happen, I want him to have every opportunity.

I still know that I'm going to get all teary when I drop him off tomorrow. My baby might not be a man, but he's grown up enough to take his first tentative steps beyond me. Damn it.

I want to hold him and hug him and revel in his life, enjoying OUR life together, playing "tent", and "running" and "police" and watching Prehistoric Planet together forever. It can't happen. It WON'T happen. And that's a GOOD thing. I embrace it. I should. I will. I HAVE to.

Damn it.

*Do Jewish girls say "Today, I am a woman" at their bat mitzvah? It would seem to follow, but I've never heard it it. I honestly don't know, can anyone enlighten me? Ben?
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    The Verve: Bittersweet Symphony